What it means to be from Oklahoma.

A friend of mine sent this to me in email so I thought I would share these wonderful Oklahoma Factoids with you. I, regrettably, don't know the original source of this wisdom.  These factoids may not all be true but they are tru-ish.  Most of the misspellings in this post are deliberate. 

Those of you who know me remember how hard I tried to teach our exchange students the nuances of the 'Okie' dialect.   I'm sure that must have led to some colorful conversations with a few of their English instructors back home.

Oklahoma City

3 comments

1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.   Armadillers are just mobile speed bumps.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Oklahoma.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Oklahoma, plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya.  If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. "Onced" and "Twiced" are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
7. "Jaw-P?" means "Did ya'll go to the bathroom?"
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. "fixinto" is one word.
10. There is no such thing as "lunch".  There is only dinner and  then there is supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.
12. Backwards and forwards means "I know everything about you."
13. The word "jeet" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?".
14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH EM.
17. You measure distance in minutes.
18. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
19. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, food (fried onion burger) or animal.
20. You know what a "DAWG" is.
21. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car.
22. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, salsa, Tabasco and Ketchup.
23. The local papers cover national and international news on one  page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and high school football!
24. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a bit warm".
25.. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still  summer, and Christmas.
26. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time know as "goin' Wal-  Martin" or "off to Wally World". ( You know why? Because there you see everyone-- you catch up on the local gossip, the news of family and what's going on at school-- you can stand in the isle for almost an hour talking to someone, but complain greatly for waiting a few minutes at the checkout-- lol)
27. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chicken stew weather.
28. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
29. We don't need no dang driver's ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.
30. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Oklahoma friends and those who just wish they were from Oklahoma.